A little boys purpose

My little Landon was with me for a very short time here on Earth but he left such an impact on me. He changed my life in so many ways. From the moment I saw his sweet tiny face I knew that my life would never be the same. And it hasn't! There are is the obvious thing that Landon gave me.....my life. He "gave up" his life so that I may have mine. I am still here because of the "sacrifice" that my only child gave me. And I have to remember that life is so precious and that at any point it can be taken away from us. When I get down and depressed I sometimes envision Landon saying "Mommy its time to dry your eyes and search for what God is calling you for!" I know that probably sounds crazy but hey it helps!
Landon also gave me a glimpse of God's grace. I know that I have mentioned before that when I saw Landon its the first time I saw God's grace in a tangible form. As I think back on that day I do remember being filled with not only with a mother's love but I was angry! How could God give me such a beautiful child and then take him away? It is only now, a year later, that I realize it was not a punishment. God gave me Landon so that I could be a better person. I found God's love through the "death" of my son. My faith is what has helped me through losing my child. My friend Shannon (who has been amazing through this past year) told me that everytime I have a bad or sad thought try and think of something happy and uplifting. And.....I pretty much looked at her like "Yeah right! Like that is soooooooo easy to do!" But I started doing it and it really does help. So lately I have been picturing Landon up in Heaven. I imagine he is a little talker! I think that if he were to have a "job" in Heaven I would like to think he is a helper of some kind. Like he is the baby who helps other babies adjust to life in Heaven. Maybe he gives tours of all the cool hangouts in Heaven. Just simple thoughts like these can bring a smile to my face.
I hope that Landon has brought things to other people as well. I hope that parents realize how fragile life is and to hug their kids a little bit closer. And hopefully other people can look at his face and see God's grace as well!
I miss my little man and sometimes the pain of losing him can try and overwhelm me....but I have to remember that this is God's plan. And that I will see him again!